How’s that love relationship with your husband going? I don’t doubt for a second that you desire closeness, intimacy, friendship, and even a certain level of relational give and take. What are you doing to make that desire a reality?
We women are funny creatures. We read books about improving our marriage. We attend seminar after seminar-sometimes, with hubby in tow. We seek advice, we pray, we plan to make changes to improve our marriage, but too often, we’re slow to take action. We contemplate BIG change, when sometimes, all it takes is a bit of attention to the SMALL things that will bring about transformation and blessing in our marriages.
How we send off our husbands each morning is one of those small things. Every marriage is different and every husband has different needs, so your send-off won’t necessarily look like my send-off, but allow me to share some thoughts and ideas with you.
Growing up, my husband was a latchkey kid. His hardworking single mom left by 5 am to catch the train to work and she didn’t arrive home until dinnertime. As a boy, my husband dreamed of waking up to breakfast and someone with whom he could talk about the plan for the day. He longed to feel cared for and treasured. When we said, “I Do” he thought his dream was about to come true.
Unfortunately, for him, he’d married me…
Although I was 22 when we got married, I was a new believer and worse than that, I’d grown up in a “Megan Centered” home. I was used to being the one taken care of; not the one taking care of someone else.
My new husband tried to be subtle about his desire for a “wife-prepared” breakfast. He tried to hint how important that little action of sacrifice would be to him. I ignored his subtle hints. Finally, he just flat-out told me that he expected me to make him breakfast before he left for a long day of flight training.
I didn’t respond favorably…
It wasn’t even about making a huge spread for breakfast. He would have been happy with anything, as long as he knew I cared about him. All I had to do was get up and spend a few moments setting the table.
Or pouring him a simple bowl of cereal…
The food itself wasn’t the issue, it was about the action of love and him feeling cared for by his bride.
It wasn’t until I started to see the tension from our mornings of impasse spilling over into the rest of the day, that I began to get the bigger picture.
Sometimes, I’m just a really slow learner…But as I prayed about the situation, the answer was so simple. So simple that it was ludicrous, really.
Get Up And Make Your Husband Breakfast!
So, guess what I did the next morning? I quietly got out of bed, tiptoed into the kitchen, and made my man some scrambled eggs. You would have thought I’d slaved for hours by the way he praised me for my cooking, my serving, and my early morning beauty!
One thing is true, once I get a lesson, I take it on completely. Pretty soon, I was loving making those breakfasts. Pancakes and bacon, oatmeal with toppings, homemade cinnamon rolls, nothing was too hard if it meant making Steve feel loved.
The guys at the squadron started to call me the “Breakfast Wife” because Steve told everyone who would listen that HIS wife got up to make him breakfast everyday. Some of the other wives weren’t so thrilled about my new title, but that didn’t matter to me, my husband felt loved and his appreciation for my teeny-tiny act of service spilled over into every area of our marriage.
So what would thrill your man as you send him off each morning? I have one friend whose husband needs quiet and alone time in the morning. He’s told her to stay in bed and just kiss him when he leaves. (Maybe that should be on the pre-marriage questionaire to help out those wives that don’t like to get up early!)
It could be something as simple as making his coffee…or packing his lunch, (complete with a love note)…or placing his bag by the front door.
Believe me, whatever it takes, it’s well worth the relational investment. Don’t allow stubbornness, (I shouldn’t have to do that) or pride, (He can do it himself) to rob you of the blessing of serving your husband.
You’ll both reap the rewards, your marriage will thrive, and the world will see the beauty of a relationship that is build on self-sacrifice and service. Send him off with style, ladies! You won’t regret the effort!
Blessings,
Megan
Megan Scheibner 