The Care and Maintenance of a Marriage-Part 3, “Be Careful Little Lips”


So, we’re going to care for our marriages by praying for our husbands.


And we’re going to maintain oneness in our marriages by remembering our unique relationship, renewing our commitment, and restoring what’s broken.


Step #3 to caring for and maintaining our marriage is found in our mouths. Our tongues can powerfully build up and solidify our marriage relationships. Or, our tongues can tear down and destroy the oneness of our marriage covenant.


It’s up to us to make the choice. Will our tongues be instruments of grace or weapons of destruction? Will we nurture peace or nullify grace?


Please allow me to share three ideas of ways we can use our tongues to make our marriages sweet, peaceful, and a testimony to others.


Idea #1  Make sure that the words, “Will you forgive me?” and “Yes, I forgive you,” are frequently on our lips. Our marriages consist of two sinners living together. Simply because of that basic truth we will sin against one another.


When we sin against our husbands, learning to quickly seek forgiveness will mend wounds and stop the bleeding caused by our wrong behavior. When I am quick to ask Steve to forgive me, he is just as quick to extend forgiveness and we can then begin the process of restoring oneness to our marriage.


However, when I am slow to seek forgiveness. When I dig in and refuse to admit wrongdoing. When I allow pride to have preeminence in my life. When I choose my way instead of God’s way; I make the choice to damage our relationship and put distance in our marriage.


Seek forgiveness quickly!


On the same note, when our husband’s humbly seek our forgiveness, it is our responsibility to extend forgiveness and allow them to restore with us.


Forgiveness is the medicine that heals broken fellowship. Seeking and extending forgiveness should happen quickly, frequently, and sincerely.


Idea #2  Use your words to encourage and build up your husband. It’s so easy to complain, compare, and point out our husband’s deficiencies. Such use of our tongue will only discourage and defeat our husbands.


Instead of using discouraging words, make your words a balm of healing to your husband’s heart. Our husbands spend their days working in hostile environments. Even those husbands who are involved in full-time ministry find themselves surrounded by sarcasm, put-downs, and negative conversation of all sorts.


Make your home a sanctuary of encouraging and uplifting words.


Men aren’t like us! I love to hear how pretty I am…Steve wouldn’t consider that a compliment! Men love to be encouraged about their strengths, their successes, and the legitimacy of their ideas.



Pray and ask the Lord to give you creative ideas of areas in which you can encourage your husband and show thankfulness toward him. Then, GET READY! When I first prayed that prayer, the Lord overwhelmed me with so many ways to encourage and thank Steve.


He protects our family!


He works so hard to provide for us!


He leads our family spiritually!


He makes us laugh with his silly jokes!


He is hospitable!


The list went on and on. I’m sure the Lord will give you plentiful ideas to encourage and bless your own husband, as well.


Especially when I’m feeling less than warm and fuzzy towards Steve, those areas of encouragement aimed toward him are a great reminder to me. I have an awesome husband!


Idea #3  Praise him publicly. Trust me, there are lots of other women who would be happy to praise your husband. Make sure that you are his best cheerleader. Make sure he knows that what you share about him publicly is positive, uplifting, and enlarging.


Never share disparaging remarks about your husband!!


If you need to talk about negative aspects of your marriage, seek out your pastor or another trained counselor. The counseling table is the appropriate venue for sharing problems and disappointments; not the coffee shop, bible study, or play date.


Make seeking and extending forgiveness a regular practice.


Infuse your husband with courage by building him up with encouraging words.


Praise your husband frequently and publicly.


Marriage is work, but it’s work that is well worth the effort. May God bless you as you put in the effort to care for and maintain your marriage! A happy marriage…there’s nothing more beautiful!


God Bless,